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To Our 2 College Kids Who Left Us Empty-nesters

Dear Amelia and Jack,

Your father and I are writing to you to tell you not to worry about us. We know, you were concerned about us being all alone in this empty nest. The day to day hustle and bustle is less, and you feared we would be sad, and our brains would turn to mush.

Please rest assured that there is a great support group of empty nest parents and we meet regularly in Target, the market, the gas station, and the liquor store too. Part of our therapy is to talk about the good things associated with having an empty nest. So, I thought I would share with you some of the items we empty nesters have listed over the weeks since you guys have been gone:

  • We purchase less toilet paper and there is never an empty roll hanging!
  • We can have anchovies on anything for dinner if we want to
  • Groceries now fit into one bag
  • $20 can sit on the counter for days and it’s still there
  • All our iPhone cords are exactly where we left them
  • We have returned to using the bathroom with the door open
  • There is gas in the car
  • The garage door is never left open
  • There are only two toilets to clean
  • There are no empty boxes in the pantry

We are sure you see our sad pictures of us having dinner with friends or eating a lobster roll in Maine. Our hearts are breaking. Many of your friends’ parents show the same signs of loss at concerts, professional football games and local brew pubs and wine bars. Fear not, we stick together. Don’t worry.

If, however, you feel homesick or sad, we can leave on a moment’s notice and be in Alabama or Rochester in a flash.

But guys, please don’t let the word out that I (mom) visit your rooms on the way to bed at night and sit on your beds. Or that I text you good night every once in a while (ok, every night for the first few weeks). And don’t let on that we send frequent care packages. We wouldn’t want the other parents to think we are weenies now.

Roll Tide. Go Tigers!

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