From the time of this posting, in the days, hours, minutes, and seconds listed above, I will have one college graduate and one college sophomore. How did this happen and where are the little versions of them? I believe they are still there.
When the phone rings, anytime of the day and I hear, “Mom?” my heart stops for a minute. As any good Italian mother, we fear they don’t need us anymore, but in reality they do, it’s just in a new and different way. Sometimes I think I need them more than I did years ago. I love the calls I get, and they seem to come right when I am missing them the most:
- Amelia: “Mom, how do you make that white pasta sauce?”
- Jack: “Mom, I am in CVS and they don’t have my shampoo. What do I do?”
- Amelia: “I’m in Wegman’s, where are the capers?”
- Jack: “I couldn’t fit my sheets in the Bama Tide laundry bag, can you add money to my ACT card with Bama Cash so I can wash them?” (first time all year!)
But now, I see the parent becomes the child:
- “Jack, what’s Venmo and how do I use it?”
- “Amelia, guess what? I just learned about Podcasts; they are so cool!”
- Or the time I called them after Chip, and I used Uber for the first time. “Guys, guess where Dad and I are? In an Uber!!!”
- “Jack, there is a new penguin movie out, will you go see it with me?”
- “Amelia, is the emergency kit in your car and is it charged and ready to use?”
- “Jack, do you know where the tornado shelter is and how long will it take you to get there?”
Jack is 1155.7 miles from home. Amelia is 223.5 miles from home. Sometimes it feels like they are in New Zealand!
I was very restless today and had a hard time focusing. I write for a living and I need to be in the moment, with a head clear, Death Wish coffee in my mug, and Izzy snoring in her bed. Everything was set, except me. I began to look around and the purging soon followed:
- I called the garbage company and ordered smaller garbage. We no longer have 95 gallons of garbage a week.
- Spectrum Cable came I turned in a cable box; no one is there to watch that TV any more.
- The pantry was next. I discarded old snacks and apple juice bottles that have long since expired. It had to be done, I just wasn’t ready to do it yet.
- All the report cards, college acceptance letters and other memorabilia floating around my office is filed away in the appropriate binders.
- Smaller containers of the usual household staples such as laundry detergent, softener, toilet paper and bathroom Dixie cups have replaced the big box store quantities. Extra supplies of toothpaste, toothbrushes, dental floss, and deodorants are no longer needed.
The rental car is reserved and ready to go to Alabama. The hotel is booked for graduation and I have Kleenex ready for these happy, sad, yet proud moments. Thank you Amelia and Jack for humoring me when I text you goodnight and that I love you, or hound you about being safe.
I am a mom and I always will be. You are my children, and you always will be.