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The Celebration of Chip’s life is today.  I struggled with the decision to speak at the celebration about Chip but I defaulted to my comfort zone, writing:

I am a mother now, but I was a wife first. Thank you, Chip, for making me your wife.

I love being a mother, and I love my children. When Amelia and Jack were babies, it was a transition to add mother to being a wife. However, I never lost my persona of being your wife. It was the joy of my life, and our marriage is the foundation of this family.

Being a wife has been one of the best aspects of my life. But now, I will transition this time from being a wife to a mother. But, between us, Chip, I will always be your wife, and you will always be my husband. For the last 35 years that we were together, we always came first to each other. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life.

I have spent the last few weeks in a perpetual rewind of our life together. How much we enjoyed the simple, easy times of being newlyweds and together survived miscarriages and breast cancer challenges. We reaped the benefits of parenthood through middle school concerts, sporting events, and the pride of donning college gear. I loved walking on an early snowy morning, hand-in-hand through Niskayuna with a steamy cup of coffee.

You will be with me forever. I don’t know if I will see you again, I hope so. I really want to believe that, but I don’t know. The thought, however, brings me peace. I wished I could hear your voice one more time. As hard as it was, I am so honored that I laid with you and listened to your heartbeat for the last time as we said goodbye.

You are still here; you are not gone. I see you in Amelia and Jack- the good and the bad! It makes me smile when I see those glimpses of ‘Dad.’ Maybe one day, I will see a new generation of you and me.

My coveted role as your wife will be here in my soul, and I get to fully immerse myself into my mother role. How lucky am I? Now I need to live for Amelia and Jack and do what you would want me to do. But inside, I will cherish all the memories that only a husband and wife will know.

I love you Chip. I always have. My heart is broken, and I will miss you forever. But I have Amelia and Jack to keep our ‘brand’ going. Would you please watch over us, and Miss Tillie too?

 

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Dear Karen
    I am so sorry for your loss. I know how devoted you are to your family and I’m sure they will be your source of strength in the days to come. I always enjoyed our conversations and if you ever need someone to talk to I would be honored to be that person.
    Sincere condolences,
    Marilyn Baer
    (Formerly of WW)

  2. For the short time I’ve gotten to see a glimpse of you two & your love for each other and the world around you my life was made better.. I SO enjoyed your visits to the shop & your kind words & gestures..towards me & my family.. you are special people! & I am honored to know you💖

    1. Thank you Amy. Chip and I loved seeing you on Saturday mornings before we headed out on one of our many adventures. I will see you soon.
      😘

  3. I send this with tears as I read your post, yet with a smile on my face as a video of Chip’s life plays through my mind…the infant with as infectious giggle and big brown eyes to the adult taking a wife and starting a family. Know this, Karen, that through the years, you’ve been an anchor for Chip….through all the avenues of life, you two have been a great team…GREAT!!!!! And be assured that you WILL see him again. That’s God’s promise..or spend eternity with the Lord and our loved ones who have gone on before us. That’s what Calvary is all about. As I write this, I can hear him call me “auntie” again with such love in his voice…with such love….And there we see the great lesson of a life well lived….to love God and love one another, and Chip personified LOVE. God bless you, Amelia and Jack. 💖💖💖

    1. Thank you Auntie. He loved you and we loved coming to see you, going up to camp, or sharing a pizza.
      You are right. We were a great team and I love him even though he is not exactly here right now. You are right. He will be with me forever. 💕💕

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