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Last night I sang you the “Tamoxifen Blues” and I mentioned the threat of the plague and locusts. I believe I came pretty close to that today.

I may have hinted in passing that I now work for, correction WITH my husband, who now can drive me crazy 15-18 hours a day as opposed to that wonderful window of time between dinner and the evening news.  He was in rare form today and I hung up after a conference call somewhat missing my old days in Manhattan.  Hindsight really is 20/20.

Anyway, I am working from home at the kitchen counter and there are papers everywhere. I have three major projects going on right  now and all are at a fever pitch.  I am happy where I am now and I like what I do for a living. Oddly though I felt a hint of unrest in the house today and suddenly I smell smoke.  I look up and the dishwasher is smoking like crazy and it is giving off a smell that is really bad.  I open the door, not a good move and it isn’t good.  It is billowing out now. Fast forward, there is no way to stop the cycle and drain it so I continue the cycle endure the smell and smoke.  It finally stops and I open the door to find nothing.  Hmm. But do I stop there? No.  I run the cycle again empty to see if it will smoke…..and it does and now I am overcome by the fumes. Oh and I did I mention that in my infinite wisdom I thought I would run the washer with white vinegar to clean it out?

(I cannot make this up) I look down and the dog is acting funny and I see a trail of blood.  Her right paw is bleeding all over.  No lie, I am almost laughing out loud when I look up and a bird is hanging upside down on the window screen looking in as if to say, “what the hell is going on in there?” I take poor Izzy to the vet and $200 later I come home with a doped up Pug with a lime green cast on her paw. (I made a side trip to the pet store to get something to cheer her up!)

There is a member of my house, who shall remain name-less who at any given time can clog up to three of the five toilets in the house.  Now I am running all over the house to find a place to go to the bathroom….just another beautiful side effect of menopause… when the doorbell rings and both UPS (Hi Pete) and the deck washing guy are here.  I hope they have not witnessed too much thru the blinds!  That could scar them for life.

 
Now it is almost 9pm and after four conference calls, a vet appointment, basketball practice, a doctor;s appointment, LAX practice, 2 loads of laundry, a small appliance fire, dinner, lunches ready for tomorrow and major hugs and love for Izzy….I am ready to crash. No Zumba tonight. J.Lo. is going to have to survive without me singing along.

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